Review: Testament at the Rock

I was excited to see Lazarus A.D. because I wanted to know what kind of thrash comes out of Kenosha, WI. Turns out it’s the wrong kind.

Typically, I don’t mind bands deviating from the formula. In fact, many of the thrash revival bands stick perhaps a little too closely to the sounds that Slayer, Exodus, Metallica and the like were spewing out in the mid 80s. Unfortunately, Lazarus A.D.’s deviations didn’t work for me. It was almost as if they were emulating the sounds that thrash bands started coming up with in the early 90s, after they saw that Metallica made it big by doing things a little differently. Unfortunately, most of those experiments stunk (see Anthrax’s Sound of White Noise) and eventually led to thrash all but disappearing from the face of the Earth.

I had a bad feeling about Unearth. Seconds before they stepped onto the stage, the crowd parted and all the dudes with Hot Topic hair swooping down over their face moved to the front.

I’m totally baffled by the music that Unearth and their fellow Warped Tour/Victory Records metal bands play. One moment they will break into some killer power metal riff and I’ll think, yeah, this is awesome. Then they’ll ruin the moment with some whining emo boy vocals. For every ground-shaking death metal roar that came out of the singer’s mouth, there was some ultra-generic hardcore mosh breakdown. It was as if someone was holding out a handful of Jelly Belly jelly beans and then peeing on them before I could eat one. I didn’t believe them at all when they said that they had been fans of Testament since they were kids.

Testament had advertised that they were letting the fans choose their set list from one of three posted on their site. One was their first album plus. Two was their second album plus. Three was just a mix of classics. They didn’t actually play any of those three choices, as far as I could tell. Maybe nobody voted?

Didn’t matter to me. As soon as they stepped onto the stage with “The Preacher,” the heads started banging. Chuck Billy has possibly the most melodic growl to come out of thrash. He also slowly seems to be turning into a member of the nightbreed. His hands are made for smashing skulls and I’m pretty sure his massive head features jaws that unhinge and can swallow indie rockers, yuppies and other non-thrashers whole. It’s disarming that he’s smiling all the time.

They covered a lot of ground with their set, punctuating songs like “Over the Wall” and “Souls of Black” with glow-in-the-dark guitar solos from Alex Skolnick. In fact, his guitar is really the story in songs like “Alone in the Dark,” and he’s the only person I would ever want to hear create an instrumental thrash album. While his solos stand out, they aren’t obtrusive. They don’t stifle the flow of the song like so many thrash solos do.

The high point for me was the unexpected inclusion “Electric Crown,” from The Ritual. That album was their entry into the aforementioned “Hey, Metallica aren’t limiting themselves to straight ahead thrash and look how successful they are” series of early 90s thrash albums. I consider Testament’s entry one that succeeded, even if it failed to win them over many new fans and caused the band to shatter. While the song doesn’t move at a spine shattering pace, it’s still super powerful and one of the main reasons I got into the band in the first place. Hell, maybe next tour they’ll actually play “Return to Serenity.”

Testament played at the Rock in Maplewood, MN, on 05/10/09.