Biblio

SHORT STORIES
COVER	WHAT, WHERE & WHEN?	HOW CRAZY?
	“Killer Nails” Steamy Screams 08/2011	Crazy Fucking Fetish Crazy! The nail artist going into the back room to get his special polish does not have your best interests at heart.
	“Reason to Clean” Made You Flinch 07/2011	Clean Your Damn Apartment Crazy! Dirty socks and piled-high pizza boxes can hide a lot more than just germs.
	“Record Collector Scum”   Necrotic Tissue #14 04/2011	Obscure and Demonic Record Crazy!   Rare and highly sought after hardcore records can lead to seriously evil disputes among collectors.
	“Clown Underground”   Out of the Gutter #7 12/2010	Evil Clown Crazy!   All that stuff about killer clowns? That’s nothing. Underground clowns who turn evil into art? That’s the scary shit.
	“Drag Queen Vs. Zombies”   Zombiality 12/2010	Self-Explanatory Crazy!   My two favorite types of people, battling each other to the death. Who wins? Everybody!
	“A Cowboy has to Ride”   This Ain’t No Rodeo 12/2008	Supernatural Rodeo Crazy!   A man who spends his life being tossed from the back of a bull isn’t going to let death stand in the way of saving his wife.
	“Complete Breakfast”   Withersin’s Unkindness 10/2008	Deadly Breakfast Crazy!   When you find something weird in your breakfast eggs, your best bet is just to throw them away.
	“No Hands”   Dark Animus #10/11 06/2008	Killer Puppet Crazy!   If you think clowns are scary, you should see what puppets can do. Still, a couple of lawn care dudes should be able to handle it.
	“Ahlana Demona”   Polluto: The Anti-Pop Culture Journal #2 04/2008	Monster Hunting Crazy!   Can love exist between a transsexual monster hunter and a zombie rights activist? Not if a werewolf art conspiracy gets in the way.
	“Skill Crane”   Black Ink Horror #3 02/2008	Severed Hand Slashin’ Crazy!   Sure, in the grand scheme of things, tossing a couple quarters of laundry money into the machine at the front of the store is probably no big deal. At least, it isn’t a big deal unless you find yourself trying to score a severed hand.
	“Gone to Seed”   Vault of Punk Horror 01/2008	Punk Rock Body Modifyin’ crazy!   When you love someone, you want to make them happy. This has already been established. However, caution should be used when what makes your angel happy is cultivating face flowers.
	“Snailwart”   Fried! Fast Food, Slow Deaths 12/2007	Fast Food Goo Spewin’ Crazy!   If you find yourself in a fast food restaurant with people flying and oozing, you should probably start to worry when the management locks the doors. This story is toxic.
	“Zombie Eater”   Raw Meat 07/2007	Zombie Crazy!   You’ve read all the zombie stories before. You know how they go. The dead come to life and start munching on peeps. Do you really need to read another one? Maybe, if it involves flipping the script and focuses on a strange man who eats zombies.
	“Dead Folk Hero Does Interstate Travel”   Daikaiju 2: Revenge of the Giant Monsters 06/2007	Really Big Zombie Crazy!   Damn, more zombie stories? Okay, get this: Paul Bunyan, back from the dead, stomps across Wisconsin with a pair of surly truckers in hot pursuit. You can’t tell me you’ve heard of that one before.
	“Upset Stomach”   Zencore: Nemonymous #7 06/2007	Mega Bathroom Break Crazy!   People working in call centers have a lot on their minds. The last thing they should have to worry about is getting harassed by their boss for excreting a living stuffed animal in the damn company restroom.
	“New Pad”   Bare Bone #10 04/2007	Inter-Dimensional Lizard Crazy!   Ask for your security deposit back if you move into an apartment plagued with weird reptiles who want to infect you. The cute transvestite sunbathing next door should not deter you in your quest.
	“Tingles”   Chimeraworld #4 11/2006	Motor Vehicle Pervert Crazy!   Becoming desensitized to sex is really easy when your job involves pushing it to the limit. If you’re lucky, the sensitivity will come back. If it does, make sure you enjoy it to the fullest extent.
	“Defective Birth”   Sinister Tales #2 10/2006	Furry Mutant Birth Crazy   Some people are put in the position where they really can’t trust anyone, not their doctors and not their fathers. When the belly rips open and the furballs start coming out, well, that’s just distrust manifesting itself, right?
	“Hate Dough”   Dreaded Pall #1 08/2006	Crazy at the Bakery!   Bakers work weird hours, often alone. Sometimes, spending that time thinking about things is not for the best. Sometimes, things end up doing the thinking for you. Don’t listen to dough.
	“After Birth”   Cthulhu Sex, Vol. 2 #25 08/2006	Drag Queens and Mutants Crazy!   The definition of high-risk sexual behavior: Offering oral sex to a one-eyed drag queen in the alley behind an all-night greasy spoon. If you ask me, you deserve whatever ends up hatching from your beard.
	“Story of a Board”   Black Petals #36 07/2006	Monster Hunting Crazy!   A man who has work to do can easily become attached to the tools of his trade. He relies on them to stay safe and to get the job done. What do the tools ask in return? Just treat them with respect and they’ll be there when you need them.
	“Waking Demons”   Horror Carousel #4 03/2006	Teddy Bear Sex Crazy!   Step 1: Don’t go down into the hole in the ground. Step 2: Don’t listen to the troll telling you to fight a demon. Step 3: Don’t go into the bedroom with the life size teddy bear, no matter how big her boobs are and how sultry her voice is.
Online!	“Coatimundi Rex”   Anthro #3 01/06	Grumpy Coatimundi Crazy   Rex is a talking coatimundi. You bet he’s got troubles. Lady troubles.
	“Punk Rock Mummy”   Theatre of Decay #1 10/2005	Punk Rock Horror Crazy!   Back in the day, a band could just rock out and that’s all there was to it. Nowadays, even the most hardcore of punk bands needs a gimmick to get by. Crusty corpses aren’t a bad choice.
	“Mask Trouble”   Ethereal Gazette #2 10/2005	Crazy Ecuadorian Artifact Action!   Enjoying your vacation is one thing, but allowing yourself to be turned into a giant ape thing to fight some dumb criminals is really something else entirely.
	“Worse Than Nightmares”   Thirteen, Vol. 2 #8 08/2005	It’s Not Just a Dream Crazy!   Lying in my bed at night, the clock ticks I think of really horrible things happening to the one who sleeps beside me. Wait, she’s not here. I was dreaming that noise in the bathroom, right?
	“Retirement”   Kopfhalter! #2 07/2005	Stomach Full of Demons Crazy!   An old man has the right to live out his last days in peace. Well, in theory at least. When he has spent his whole life keeping hell caged inside himself, there really isn’t any opportunity to rest.

 

CHAPBOOKS
COVER	WHAT, WHERE & WHEN?	HOW CRAZY?
	Are You Sick of Zombies Yet?   Freak Tension Press 11/2008	Lots of Zombie Crazy!   Includes five zombie short stories: “Zombie Eater,” “Dead Folk Hero Does Interstate Travel” and more.
	The Mutilation of Paris Hilton   Freak Tension Press 09/2006	Celebutante Slashin’ Crazy!   Includes three great short stories: “Punk Rock Mummy,” “Snailwart” and the notorious title tale.
	MP Johnson’s Cheap-Ass Chapbook   Freak Tension Press 07/2005	Cheaper than Fuck Crazy!   Eyeballs for dinner! Hamsters with parachutes! Weird growths!