Emma Alice Johnson | Author And Zinester | Bizarro, Horror And Science Fiction | LGBTQ

Information about Emma Alice Johnson's books and zines.

I recently had the honor of performing alongside Justin Grimbol, the visionary behind of The Crud Masters, an entry in the Eraserhead Press New Bizarro Author Series. During these bizarro gigs, he made a joke about his muse dancing around his dong like a maypole that will stay with me forever. This is the second of many mini interviews I will be conducting on my site with bizarro authors and creative-types who I respect.

The Crud Masters By Justin Grimbol

The Crud Masters is inspired by The Outsiders. What impact has The Outsiders had on your life?

Shit, not much. I love juvenile delinquency movies. I love juvenile delinquency in general. The Outsiders is a good film. It’s pretty and shit. It has wonderful characters. The two young ones, Johnny and Pony Boy, have a very endearing relationship. That’s probably what I liked most about the movie. But it didn’t have enough fun with juvenile delinquency. There wasn’t enough sex and partying and pranking. I love those things. So when I wrote The Crud Masters there was plenty of that shit.

Your website, Butt Shark University, has a lot of dicks and butts and boobs. What impact have dicks and butts and boobs had on your life?

More than you could imagine. I love butts so much. And I am proud to have met some great women with great butts, women that are wonderful ball busters and can laugh in ways that make the whole world blush. Dicks are cool too. I wish I had an uglier dick. I like big sweaty mangled looking, veiny dicks. Mine is too smooth and handsome. I love drawing dicks. My buddies and I used to draw dicks on everything. We called it wanging. I like to wang things.

Why is your character, Pussy Bear, obsessed with Freddy Krueger sex?

She just loves sex. She understands that ugly things can be sexy too. Krueger showed her his sensitive side. In the end, he got too clingy though. You know how us dudes can be?

Arm wrestling. You vs. Patrick Swayze circa The Outsiders. Who wins?

He would. Sorta. You see, I would stink palm him. Remember that shit from Mallrats? I would rub my hand all over my sweaty balls and asshole and then I would arm wrestle him. He would then go around smelling nasty as hell. The dweeb.


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