My newest short story, “Pear People from Planet 13,” is now available in American Nightmare from Kraken Press. Check out the sweet tentacle wonderfulness of the cover:
“Pear People from Planet 13,” believe it or not, is my homage to 1950s B-movies, particularly the ones with strange things from outer space. Oddly enough, it’s also inspired by a story relayed to me by the mother of one of my best friends. The anthology was edited by George Cotronis, who did the cover art too. It also features weird horror stories by Max Booth III, Rachel Anding and other party animals.
American Nightmare is available in print or on Kindle at Amazon.
I Got My Ass Whooped
Last week, I participated in Revolver’s Write Fight. I was sent a writing prompt and given an hour to put a story together. I wrote a goofy little ditty about hope chests, beer cans and umbilical cords. My competitor wrote something about fancy beer and relationships. Our stories were published and readers voted on their favorite. My flash fiction piece put up a nice fight. It got over 100 votes, which is sweet. But it wasn’t enough to take the win. Read “Full Fridge” and see if you can figure out why I lost.
The Final Success Of A Professional Small Animal Inside-Outer
Could City Press just dropped a second printing of my last chapbook, The Final Failure of a Professional Small Animal Inside-Outer. This time, it’s got a fancy red cover. Grab a copy if you don’t have one yet (or if you need multiple copies because you’re some kind of pervy MP Johnson completist). Some of my best short story work is in this book.
The release party for my latest book, Dungeons & Drag Queens. was last week at Common Good Books in St. Paul. It was a blast! The turnout was great and everyone laughed in all the right places. Only two people ran for the door when I was reading. Maybe it was my singing. Maybe it was the dick jokes.
As a writer, a lot of my work is done alone. It’s easy for me to question whether anyone gives a shit about what I’m doing. But when I have an event like this and everyone is so awesome, I’m reminded that I have some of the best friends a guy can ask for, and that there are people who support weird books.
Fox Smoulder opened the event with some rad erotic poetry. Jeff Arndt from Mommy Sez No closed out the shindig with some bizarro songs. Check these people out and support their work. Cloud City published a more in-depth review of the reading. And read what Fox Smoulder had to say about the performance.
Shit To Read On Your Lunch Break
A bunch of my flash fiction has been published online recently. Check this stuff out if you find yourself with a few minutes to kill.
- “Delivering Kiev’s Birthday Card” at Fuck Fiction
- “Woods Porn” at Flash Fiction Offensive (NSFW)
- “Do Not Buy” reprinted at Strange Story Saturdays
- “Kiss the Goat SEO” at Weirdyear
My first round in Revolver’s Write Fight will appear online Wednesday morning. If enough people like my entry, I will move on to the next round in this awesome competition. Go to Revolver Wednesday morning. Your vote counts!
People often approach me with awesome suggestions about how to publicize my books. I always appreciate the help. Unfortunately, I just don’t have the capacity to follow through on most of the ideas. If it takes away from the time I actually spend writing, it’s probably not something I can do. But if you want to help, there are three crucial and easy things that you can do. These go a long way!
Buy the book. I know that money can be tight and there’s a lot you can do with the dollars in your pocket. When people put their money toward one of my books, it means a lot to me. Your purchase is not just a purchase. It’s a vote. You’re saying, “Yes, publishers, I’m into this writer’s stuff and I hope to see more of it in the future.” Buy one for yourself. Buy one for a friend. If you’re strapped for cash, request that your local library order a copy for you (most libraries let you do this online).
Spread the word about the book. You know at least one other person who would like it. Tell them about it. Hell, loan them your copy when you’re done reading it. Discuss it on social media (and follow me or friend me). Read the book in public and talk it up if the cover catches someone’s eye.
Review the book. Books with positive reviews on Amazon, Goodreads and other sites stand out from the competition. Furthermore, the reviews play a role in when and how these sites will recommend books. You only need to spend two minutes on a review. Write a sentence and leave a star rating. It does not need to be thorough or professional to be helpful. You can still review a book on Amazon even if you bought the book elsewhere. Share the review on social media.
A lot of this stuff applies not only to independent authors, but to bands, filmmakers, artists and every other independent creative type out there. If you can spare the money and time, we all appreciate your help.
You love drag queens. You love epic fantasy like Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings and Conan the Barbarian. Now you can experience these loves simultaneously! Buy Dungeons & Drag Queens for $10 on Amazon.
Dungeons and Drag Queens by MP Johnson is published by Eraserhead Press. In case you don’t know, Eraserhead is really the foundation of the entire bizarro fiction movement. This book is my tribute to epic sword and sorcery sagas, as well as my love letter to the art of drag. Cover art by Hauke Vagt.
Back cover blurb:
What happens when a small town drag queen gets sucked into a realm of sword and sorcery and forced to do much more than lip-sync for her life?
After a weird wizard transports Sleazella LaRuse to the realm of Houmak, Green Bay’s number one diva must battle to save her life and protect the lip-syncing, potty-mouthed persona she’s worked so hard to cultivate. Will her bones be devoured by the gnawing nipple-mouths of slavwolves or crushed by the brutal Blada Femma? Worse yet, will she find love amongst the scum sailors and slopulating sky serpents? Will she win this glamorous game of thrones? The answer is clear in the most fierce and fabulous fantasy epic ever.
My new flash fiction piece, “I Think I’ll Donate this Severed Head to the Salvation Army,” is up now at The Molotov Cocktail. This sick bit of bizarro fiction details the plight of a man with more severed heads than he has room for, and how he decides to manage his collection. It might also be about relationships.
Read it. Share it. Then go out and start your own collection of severed heads.
My latest short story, “Hearts and Caterpillars,” is out now in Strange Fucking Stories from StrangeHouse Books. It’s a weird romance story about the problems that an interdimensional caterpillar can bring to an otherwise not-so-perfect relationship. I’m very proud of this one, and I’m psyched that it was chosen as the lead-off story in this awesome collection of bizarro fiction.
How awesome is that cover art? The complete table of contents is:
- “Hearts and Caterpillars” by MP Johnson
- “Worse for the Wear” by Matt Kurtz
- “Dick Sick” by Frank Edler
- “Appelonia” by Eric Dimbleby
- “Zombie Bowl” by DM Anderson
- “The Painter’s Mother Rode a Pale Horse” by Christopher Hivner
- “The Knot that Binds” by John Bruni
- “Rape C(o)untry” by Billy Tea
- “Cockblock” by Kristen M. Tepe
- “A Game of Chance” by Jacob Lambert
- “Cephalopod” by Justin Hunter
- “Assface” by Rich Bottles Jr.
- “The Humans Under the Bed” by Kevin Strange
You can grab a copy of Strange Fucking Stories in print or on Kindle at Amazon.