Review: No Doubt at the Xcel

Paying extra to get in early paid off. Kate and I got a spot in the front row. Thousands of people trickled in behind us. We passed the time singing along to the Descendents and Bad Brains tunes blasting out of the speakers.

Speaking of the Bad Brains, I was curious about the opening band, Bedouin Soundclash, because Darryl Jenifer (Bad Brains bassist, yo) has been producing their albums. Unfortunately, their mopey ska didn’t really reflect that connection.

Paramore came next, opening with “Misery Business,” the one song I knew.  Their set moved faster than the 45 minutes it lasted. Bonus points for the back flip the bass player did over the guitar player.

A giant white curtain fluttered in front of the stage. The band member’s silhouettes appeared on it and me, Kate and the 10,000 or so people behind us went nuts. “Spiderwebs” kicked it off as Gwen and the band ran around the sci-fi sleek stage set.

Part of me was worried No Doubt might have been one of those bands that, having reached such a level of popularity that they can pack arenas, would put on an overly glossy show, overproduced, choreographed and punctuated by cheesy, rehashed crowd banter. I had no reason to worry. Yes, they were tight musically, but it still seemed fresh, even spontaneous. They were into what they were doing and their energy flowed from the stage in waves.

I don’t usually get starstruck, but with Gwen Stefani and her abs four feet in front of me, yeah, I get starstruck, so highlights are hard to pick out. They played all of their singles, throwing in a few curve balls, like a slowed-down arrangement of “Excuse Me Mr.” They also threw in a couple less-familiar tunes from Tragic Kingdom, like “Different People,” during which Gwen forgot the lyrics, which she blamed on a couple of sisters in the front row with the lyrics “Two sisters only have their parents to blame” written on a sign.

They wrapped up the set with “Just a Girl.” After doing a dozen push-ups, Gwen requested that the dudes in the audience sing the chorus. “That was terrible,” she said before handing it over to the ladies to give it a shot, which she was more approving of.

For the encore, Gwen came back onto the stage dressed like some sort of ultra glam skinhead chick, wearing bleached jeans and a glittery Fred Perry. Instead of covering a song by The Business, they covered Adam and the Ants, perhaps the least skinheady band in the world. Drums were brought to the front of the stage to lay out the marching beats that lead into “Stand and Deliver.” I never thought I would like any fucking song that Adam Ant had anything to do with, but I guess this is an exception. Verses were handled by Gwen with assistance from the singers of Paramore and Bedouin Soundclash.

When the stage cleared, No Doubt wrapped things up with an amazing run through “Sunday Morning.” Then they went away. Sigh.

Set List:

• Spiderwebs
• Hella Good
• Underneath it All
• Excuse Me Mr.
• Ex-Girlfriend
• Happy Now/End it on This
• Simple Kind of Life
• Bathwater
• Guns of Navarone
• New
• Hey Baby
• Running
• Different People
• Don’t Speak
• It’s My Life
• Just a Girl

Encore:

• Rock Steady
• Stand and Deliver
• Sunday Morning

No Doubt played the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota, on 07/05/09.

News: Fuck. David Carradine is Dead.

One of the best musical scenes in any movie ever. Period.

Review: In Defence at Eclipse Records

The flyer declared this a zombie show. I was skeptical, until I pulled up and saw the crowd of punk rock corpses loitering in front of Eclipse Records. With great care, I made my way through them, safely avoiding infection.

The noise coming from the back room caused the deadies to follow close behind as I entered. Born For The Gallows took the stage. They worked the corpses into a serious frenzy with their charged punkcore. Luckily, no fresh blood was drawn. The zombies seemed content to feed on the band’s energy, and vice versa.

In Defence came next. They wore hocky masks, Jason Vorhees style. I guess Jason counts as a zombie… sort of. They plowed through “Call More Dudes.” Jokingly, they announced that their second song would be their last. Unfortunately, the joke turned out to be true.

As the band buzzed through its high impact hardcore, the doors flew open and an elite group of zombie hunters spilled into the room. Arrows flew from crossbows, finding homes in zombie skulls. Swords separated undead heads from bodies. Baseball bats splattered rotten brains across the dark walls.

I hid in the corner as the bodies piled up. The zombie hunters didn’t discriminate between dead and alive. The members of In Defence were brutally killed and recklessly tossed onto the pile of corpses. One arm remained on stage, clutching the neck of a guitar. As the feedback from that guitar filled the air, I snuck out the door.

In Defence played Eclipse Records in St. Paul, MN, on 05/28/09.

Review: Amebix at the Triple Rock

When Misery is on, it sounds like something is broken. That something is your skull. I had hoped that opening for crust legends Amebix would force them to put on a show that would send chunks of brain flying through the Triple Rock. They came damn close, landing somewhere between skull rattling and skull shattering, as they rumbled through favorites like “Bomb Blast” and “Midnight.”

I had assumed that freight trains coming into Minneapolis yesterday would be covered with every crusty punk within a 500 mile radius, clinging to the graffiti-covered steel like barnacles. The place was packed tight, but not uncomfortable, with no obvious overflow outside.

Were Amebix awesome? I couldn’t tell. I had a hard time hearing them through all the farts.

Actually, they were awesome.

Amebix are completely new to me. I just listened to Arise for the first time about a month ago. Perhaps I felt a little bit left out. Most of the people there seemed not only to know all the words, but sang along with all their hearts. There was a sense of reverence and awe that was almost tangible.

I could see why. From the opening of “Winter” on, Amebix somehow found a way to play a set that could be described equally as celebratory and emotionally devastating, crushing and uplifting. From a purely musical standpoint, they were precise and engulfing. I don’t believe that anyone in the crowd was not completely sucked in.

When they wrapped up with an encore that included “Arise” and “Drink and be Merry,” I didn’t really know how much time had passed. They had played a substantial set, but I still felt that the time had moved by too quickly. If they ever come back again, I’ll be ready.

Amebix played the Triple Rock Social Club in Minneapolis, MN, on 05/27/09.

News: Razorcake #50

The new issue of Razorcake is out now. It features an interview with Banner Pilot and lots of other good stuff. Also, it’s the 50th issue!

I contributed a few reviews, which you can read online if you want:

• Mommy Sez No: Hotwaterburnbaby CD
• Psycho Nubs: Alley of the Ignots CD
• Werevilsdare: Full Moon Fury CD

Check ‘em out. New issue in a couple months.

Review: Murder Junkies at Big V’s

The Murder Junkies drummer took the stage and immediately stripped, revealing a chubby, completely hairless body. With his bright red beard and neon green hair, he looked like a giant baby that had just slid out of the cooch of Candyland’s sleaziest stripper.

This flyer is way too conservative for a Murder Junkies/Faggot show.

Some girl yelled, “That’s the smallest penis I’ve ever seen!”

I don’t think he heard the comment. He grabbed the microphone and mumbled bizarre introductions for his fellow band members as they took their places on stage. “On our contract, we sign on the line as ‘The Best.’ We’re going to prove it to you.”

Before he moved to the drumset, he had one last thing to say: “We love you GG! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

The drummer isn’t the only member of the Murder Junkies who looks like a demented gutter dwelling Saturday morning cartoon character. Merle Allin, bass player and GG’s brother, is the epitome, with his couple of random dreds reaching down to his shins, his pale face, his cowboy hat and his bushy Hitler mustache. They would definitely be the villains in the cartoons… and they would probably win.

Before the band started, someone standing behind me said, “This is going to go bad.” She was  wrong. This was no GG Allin nostalgia show. The singer didn’t try to mimic GG. He had his own distinct style. As he let loose his broken glass growl, he punched himself in the skull a few times during the first song. That was as violent as it got. Instead of eating piles of shit, he danced around the stage, doing a demented jig as the band tore through their music.

They proved themselves to be their own distinct entity, related to, but separate from GG Allin. Yeah, they played a few GG songs, “Rowdy Beer Drinkin’ Night” being a highlight, but they generally steered clear of what I would consider classic GG. No “Gimme Some Head.” No “Bite It.” No “I Wanna Fuck Myself.” Instead, they played originals, including a tune called “48 Days” that sounded damn near like the perfect sleaze punk song.

They closed out their quick set with a run through “I Kill Everything I Fuck,” with the crowd singing along, before everyone left the stage… everyone except the drummer. He didn’t want to go. He kicked out a ten minute solo before lubing up his drumsticks, jamming them both up his ass at the same time and finishing with a couple psychotic screams into the microphone.

Faggot followed the Murder Junkies. I was pleased to see a handful of GG Allin fans flee in terror as Faggot’s dancers started spazzing out on the dance floor. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” I heard one say.

Faggot are a boiling cauldron of glitter and penises. Back when TV used to be cool, you’d be able to turn it on at four in the morning and there was a decent chance that you would stumble onto some B-movie filled with skin and blood and multi-colored fluids. The combination of the weirdness on the screen and the sleep in your brain would somehow damage you. That’s Faggot.

Also, here’s an important fact: Don’t go to Faggot shows to see vagina. I’ve been to a lot of Faggot shows, and last night was the first time I saw vagina at one. You’ll see penises all over the place, covered in glitter, flying through the air, but vagina’s are less likely. The ratio is something like 666 glitter-soaked penis sightings to every one v. So don’t go see Faggot for vaginas. Go because they rock or because you like penises and glitter.

Last night’s set was short and to the point: Big boobed lady doing the splits. A song about fucking a retard at the Triple Rock. Dry humping. Actual pussy eating. A new song that deteriorated into a wall of noise that lasted another fifteen minutes beyond the end of their set. I got glitter on me. Fucking glitter.

The Murder Junkies played Big V’s in St. Paul, MN, on 05/24/09.

Review: All The Pretty Horses at 7th Street

You know that movie The Fly? Not the original one, but the superior, messier version that David Cronenberg made in the 80s? Pretend that Jeff Goldblum wasn’t in that movie. Instead, his part was played by Badmotorfinger-era Chris Cornell. Now pretend that, instead of a fly, it was Ronnie James Dio buzzing around in the transporter.

If the ugly, twisted creature that came out when the two bodies merged happened to be a female, it would have a voice not unlike the singer of Sirens of Titan.

At the show, the vocals were the high point. The rest was sort of baffling. Musically, they seemed to be playing some strange tug of war between grunge band  and jam band. The toothless guitar solos seemed completely out of sync with the vocals. I kept wanting the guitar player to just rock out, but it never really happened.

All The Pretty Horses came onto a stage thick with fog and green lasers. They played Ruin, my personal favorite of their albums, from start to finish. It’s strange music. Goth and glam are the labels most commonly slapped onto it, but neither fit quite right. It’s not really goth, because it’s not mopey enough. It’s not really glam, because it’s too driving.

At least on Ruin, there’s an abandon that seems reminiscent of 70s punk. There’s that sense that things could just go fucking nuts at any point, and on songs like “Walking Dead,” they do, especially live, when Venus just pounds the fuck out the guitar and the sound digs it claws in.

Then they play a song like “In Heaven,” their version of the girl in the radiator’s song from David Lynch’s Eraserhead, and things take a turn for the surreal.

I tended to get lost in the music, only occasionally noticing the bare tits, pirate eye patches, funny hats and tight latex onstage. It’s kind of a shame that this is the aspect of the band that tends to get talked about the most. Kind of undercuts the fact that they fucking rock.

All The Pretty Horses played the 7th Street Entry in Minneapolis, MN, on 05/21/09.

Preview: Murder Junkies at Big V’s

When I was in high school, I went through a really intense GG Allin phase. I exchanged letters with GG’s brother Merle, who was happy to answer all of my bizarre questions. I never completely outgrew that phase, which is why I’m happy that Merle now carries on GG’s legacy with the Murder Junkies.

This flyer is way too conservative for a Murder Junkies/Faggot show.

Will there be shit throwing? Will there be blood? Will they have GG Allin’s severed head jammed onto a microphone stand at the front of the stage? Probably no for the last one, but all the rest is totally up in the air. It’s at Big V’s (the V stands for violence), so chances of at least a fight breaking out are pretty high.

Faggot will be joining the Junkies. Check out my review of their recent show with Anal Cunt.

Also, GG Allin is now a bobblehead.

Murder Junkies will play Big V’s in St. Paul, MN, on 05/24/09. My review of the show will be posted the following day.

News: PETA2 – Making Both Vegetarianism and Punk Rock Stupid

Just like everyone else in the world, I’m really excited about voting for the world’s sexiest vegetarian at PETA2.

Since Swamp Thing isn’t on the list, I’m having trouble deciding between Aaron Dalbec from Bane and the dudes from Cattle Decapitation. Oh jeez.

Then there’s this guy:

Seriously though, have Bane and Cattle Decapitation recently pulled in a bunch of teenage girls as fans, or are there macho hardcore dudes and metal heads nominating people for this?

Oh, and who the fuck put John Norris on the list?

If your music fandom is a little more active and lot less stupid, you can see Bane on 7/31/09 and Cattle Decapitation on 6/9/09. Both are at Station 4 in St. Paul, MN.

5/19 Review: Big Business at the Triple Rock

Tweak bird sounded like a bunch of fucking crows making stoner metal. They were smirking the whole time, like they were in on some joke that the crowd didn’t know about. That’s just like crows.

Big Business shut my brain down. I was watching the drummer lay down these rhythms that seemed complex, yet fit perfectly within the confines of the songs, when my wires started getting crossed. The sound of the drums turned into a complex equation that my brain couldn’t stop trying to figure out. Instead of giving up, it just quit and everything turned upside down. I had to leave early.

Oh yeah, and I was really tired.

Big Business played the Triple Rock Social Club in Minneapolis, MN, on 05/18/09.