American Nightmare And A Brutal Writing Beatdown

My newest short story, “Pear People from Planet 13,” is now available in American Nightmare from Kraken Press. Check out the sweet tentacle wonderfulness of the cover:

American Nightmare

“Pear People from Planet 13,” believe it or not, is my homage to 1950s B-movies, particularly the ones with strange things from outer space. Oddly enough, it’s also inspired by a story relayed to me by the mother of one of my best friends. The anthology was edited by George Cotronis, who did the cover art too. It also features weird horror stories by Max Booth III, Rachel Anding and other party animals.

American Nightmare is available in print or on Kindle at Amazon.

I Got My Ass Whooped

Last week, I participated in Revolver’s Write Fight. I was sent a writing prompt and given an hour to put a story together. I wrote a goofy little ditty about hope chests, beer cans and umbilical cords. My competitor wrote something about fancy beer and relationships. Our stories were published and readers voted on their favorite. My flash fiction piece put up a nice fight. It got over 100 votes, which is sweet. But it wasn’t enough to take the win. Read “Full Fridge” and see if you can figure out why I lost.

The Final Success Of A Professional Small Animal Inside-Outer

Could City Press just dropped a second printing of my last chapbook, The Final Failure of a Professional Small Animal Inside-Outer. This time, it’s got a fancy red cover. Grab a copy if you don’t have one yet (or if you need multiple copies because you’re some kind of pervy MP Johnson completist). Some of my best short story work is in this book.

June 8, 2014 at 2:00 pm Leave a comment

My Book Release Party And A Fat Pile Of Flash Fiction

The release party for my latest book, Dungeons & Drag Queens. was last week at Common Good Books in St. Paul. It was a blast! The turnout was great and everyone laughed in all the right places. Only two people ran for the door when I was reading. Maybe it was my singing. Maybe it was the dick jokes.

MP Johnson Reads From Dungeons & Drag Queens

As a writer, a lot of my work is done alone. It’s easy for me to question whether anyone gives a shit about what I’m doing. But when I have an event like this and everyone is so awesome, I’m reminded that I have some of the best friends a guy can ask for, and that there are people who support weird books.

Fox Smoulder opened the event with some rad erotic poetry. Jeff Arndt from Mommy Sez No closed out the shindig with some bizarro songs. Check these people out and support their work. Cloud City published a more in-depth review of the reading. And read what Fox Smoulder had to say about the performance.

Shit To Read On Your Lunch Break

A bunch of my flash fiction has been published online recently. Check this stuff out if you find yourself with a few minutes to kill.

Coming Up

My first round in Revolver’s Write Fight will appear online Wednesday morning. If enough people like my entry, I will move on to the next round in this awesome competition. Go to Revolver Wednesday morning. Your vote counts!

June 1, 2014 at 4:13 pm Leave a comment

Three Ways You Can Help An Independent Author

People often approach me with awesome suggestions about how to publicize my books. I always appreciate the help. Unfortunately, I just don’t have the capacity to follow through on most of the ideas. If it takes away from the time I actually spend writing, it’s probably not something I can do. But if you want to help, there are three crucial and easy things that you can do. These go a long way!

Buy the book. I know that money can be tight and there’s a lot you can do with the dollars in your pocket. When people put their money toward one of my books, it means a lot to me. Your purchase is not just a purchase. It’s a vote. You’re saying, “Yes, publishers, I’m into this writer’s stuff and I hope to see more of it in the future.” Buy one for yourself. Buy one for a friend. If you’re strapped for cash, request that your local library order a copy for you (most libraries let you do this online).

Spread the word about the book. You know at least one other person who would like it. Tell them about it. Hell, loan them your copy when you’re done reading it. Discuss it on social media (and follow me or friend me). Read the book in public and talk it up if the cover catches someone’s eye.

Review the book. Books with positive reviews on Amazon, Goodreads and other sites stand out from the competition. Furthermore, the reviews play a role in when and how these sites will recommend books. You only need to spend two minutes on a review. Write a sentence and leave a star rating. It does not need to be thorough or professional to be helpful. You can still review a book on Amazon even if you bought the book elsewhere. Share the review on social media.

A lot of this stuff applies not only to independent authors, but to bands, filmmakers, artists and every other independent creative type out there. If you can spare the money and time, we all appreciate your help.

PS – I’m currently giving away a copy of my new book, Dungeons & Drag Queens, on Goodreads!

May 7, 2014 at 2:00 pm Leave a comment

Dungeons & Drag Queens

You love drag queens. You love epic fantasy like Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings and Conan the Barbarian. Now you can experience these loves simultaneously! Buy Dungeons & Drag Queens for $10 on Amazon.

Dungeons And Drag Queens

Dungeons and Drag Queens by MP Johnson is published by Eraserhead Press. In case you don’t know, Eraserhead is really the foundation of the entire bizarro fiction movement. This book is my tribute to epic sword and sorcery sagas, as well as my love letter to the art of drag. Cover art by Hauke Vagt.

Back cover blurb:

What happens when a small town drag queen gets sucked into a realm of sword and sorcery and forced to do much more than lip-sync for her life?

After a weird wizard transports Sleazella LaRuse to the realm of Houmak, Green Bay’s number one diva must battle to save her life and protect the lip-syncing, potty-mouthed persona she’s worked so hard to cultivate. Will her bones be devoured by the gnawing nipple-mouths of slavwolves or crushed by the brutal Blada Femma? Worse yet, will she find love amongst the scum sailors and slopulating sky serpents? Will she win this glamorous game of thrones? The answer is clear in the most fierce and fabulous fantasy epic ever.

April 16, 2014 at 4:06 pm 2 comments

Heavy Metal Horror Fiction Is Here

Heavy metal and horror go together like blood and guts. Unfortunately, it’s a combination that doesn’t come to life in fiction nearly often enough. The new book Axes of Evil, out now from Diabolus In Musica/Chupa Cabra House, is here to remedy that problem.

Axes Of Evil

The book features my new story, “Ex-Punk,” which takes a tangent away from metal and into the world of punk rock basement shows. An old been-there-done-that punk gets a taste of something new, and she never wants to let it go. I’m psyched that my story appears alongside so many new pieces by great authors like Lucy Taylor, who wrote one of my favorite collections of extreme horror short stories, Unnatural Acts.

Here’s the full table of contents:

1. Introduction by Alex S. Johnson
2. Mourningstar by Del James
3. All the Rage by Lindsey Beth Goddard
4. The Plaster Casters Rise Again by Persiphone Hellecat
5. The Cold and Lonely Tombstone of Angus Smith by Jeff Ö’Brien
6. Battle of the Bands by Joel Donald
7. The Doom to Come by Andrew Freudenberg
8. Sinister Cavan by Jim Goforth
9. Beyond Death by Chuck Rios
10. Rio Grande Blood by Chris Kelso
11. Tones of Skin and Bones by Michael Faun
12. Seven Goats by Mathias Jansson
13. Louder, Faster… by John Claude Smith
14. Ex-Punk by MP Johnson
15. An Unholy Statement by Kerry GiantSquid Lipp
16. Keltorrian by Jacurutu Scarry Garry-Shinigami Twenty-Three
17. Let Him Who Hath Understanding by Sylvia Bourgoin
18. Frygga: Dreams of Fire by Christine Morgan
19. Death Call by Christopher Hivner
20. Gargamathanga by Martin Garrity
21. Backstage Passes by Anna Haney
22. Rita by Mimi A. Mimi Williams
23. Die, Clown, Die! By Alex S. Johnson
24. Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Charie D. La Marr
25. Rock and Roll All Night by Sephera Giron
26. Hardcore Crust by Terry M. West
27. Unholy Concoction by Robert Holtgrewe
28. Axes of Discordance: A Bangalore Story by Jayaprakash Satyamurthy
29. Crush by Selene MacLeod
30. Harbinger Master by G Arthur Brown
31. The Dreadheads by Grant Wamack
32. Before the Ball by Ray Van Horn Jr.
33. To Hell With the Metal by Sean Leonard
34. Extremophiles by Lucy Taylor

Axes of Evil is available in print or on Kindle at Amazon.

March 31, 2014 at 3:37 pm 2 comments

What To Do With All Those Severed Heads

My new flash fiction piece, “I Think I’ll Donate this Severed Head to the Salvation Army,” is up now at The Molotov Cocktail. This sick bit of bizarro fiction details the plight of a man with more severed heads than he has room for, and how he decides to manage his collection. It might also be about relationships.

Read it. Share it. Then go out and start your own collection of severed heads.

March 26, 2014 at 2:18 pm Leave a comment

Strange Fucking Caterpillar Stories

My latest short story, “Hearts and Caterpillars,” is out now in Strange Fucking Stories from StrangeHouse Books. It’s a weird romance story about the problems that an interdimensional caterpillar can bring to an otherwise not-so-perfect relationship. I’m very proud of this one, and I’m psyched that it was chosen as the lead-off story in this awesome collection of bizarro fiction.

Strange Fucking Stories

How awesome is that cover art? The complete table of contents is:

  • “Hearts and Caterpillars” by MP Johnson
  • “Worse for the Wear” by Matt Kurtz
  •  “Dick Sick” by Frank Edler
  • “Appelonia” by Eric Dimbleby
  • “Zombie Bowl” by DM Anderson
  • “The Painter’s Mother Rode a Pale Horse” by Christopher Hivner
  • “The Knot that Binds” by John Bruni
  • “Rape C(o)untry” by Billy Tea
  • “Cockblock” by Kristen M. Tepe
  •  “A Game of Chance” by Jacob Lambert
  • “Cephalopod” by Justin Hunter
  • “Assface” by Rich Bottles Jr.
  • “The Humans Under the Bed” by Kevin Strange

You can grab a copy of Strange Fucking Stories in print or on Kindle at Amazon.

January 16, 2014 at 8:01 pm Leave a comment

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About the Author

MP Johnson is an author, a zine creator, a B-movie extra and an obsessive music fan. Learn more.

MP Johnson’s Books

 photo e4226bc9-74c4-41d6-ac10-0592d33cf5be_zps1e32b6d2.jpg 04.14 - Dungeons & Drag Queens  photo f47efb7e-a7fa-436d-acbc-453f408c36eb_zpsc26ca74f.jpg 02.13 - The After-Life Story of Pork Knuckles Malone

Appearances

06.27-29 - Days of the Dead Indianapolis
07.03 - CONvergence Minneapolis
07.13 - Borderlands Books San Francisco
07.19 - Exclusive Company Green Bay
08.08-10 - Flashback Weekend Chicago
08.23 - Volume One Eau Claire
10.04 - FallCon St. Paul
10.11 - Twin Cities Book Fest
10.24-26 - Crypticon Minneapolis

Recent Releases

 photo 19a5375e-54ad-4a87-9d34-f3787a51039c_zps15579f41.jpg "Ex-Punk" in Axes of Evil  photo 2f36a2ae-aaae-4efa-a197-06305674bcca_zps790c2a3b.jpg "Pear People from Planet 13" in American Nightmare  photo 71d5d9ff-ee5f-4610-a273-72c4da3a5a0b_zps93cbb3e2.jpg "Hearts and Caterpillars" in Strange Fucking Stories  photo d44e2742-7421-4cfc-be65-e20eeb686ef2_zps62203d97.jpg "Vagalyn's Flying Head" in Bizarro Bizarro  photo dcef9f1b-11ac-4540-912a-04e771df3d41_zps6e27d092.jpg Freak Tension #15  photo 3d46a228-3c7e-4165-bc36-8520abe91756_zpsd37008d4.jpg "Do Not Buy" in A Very StrangeHouse Christmas  photo f8ea640b-9b8e-453d-88de-0cc7c11cb794_zps26d5bcca.jpg "Loving Arms" in Diabolic Tales III  photo 256099ff-2b52-4e40-9d31-9c8602956a8b_zpsd37102ce.jpg "Lake Street" in In Heaven, Everything Is Fine FinalFailureCover-22 The Final Failure of a Professional Small Animal Inside-Outer Freak Tension 14 photo FreakTension14-1.jpg Freak Tension #14 Photobucket "Killer Nails" in Steamy Screams Photobucket "Reason to Clean" in Made You Flinch Photobucket "Record Collector Scum" in Necrotic Tissue #14 Photobucket "Clown Underground" in Out of the Gutter #7 Photobucket "Drag Queen Vs. Zombies" in Zombiality Photobucket "A Cowboy has to Ride" in This Ain't No Rodeo Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting "Complete Breakfast" in Withersin's Unkindness Anthology Photobucket "No Hands" in Dark Animus #10/11 Photobucket "Ahlana Demona" in Polluto: The Anti-Pop Culture Journal #2 Photobucket "Skill Crane" in Black Ink Horror #3

Contact Info

Email bizarro horror writer MP Johnson at: freaktensionATyahooDOTcom

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